Plus Shipping and Handling

I boxed up and mailed my server to my new apartment today. The cable and wiring alone weighed 10 lbs., so this was a Project a little larger than I was expecting. I took the big pieces, i.e. the server and monitors, along with a large box containing the external stroage and the aforementioned box of copper to the UPS store this afternoon. I had no real expectation for the cost, but the figure of merit floating in my head as $150 or so.

UPS guy: I have to pack the server if you want insurance.
Me: Okay.
(I had mailed a server to Geoff some years back, packed it myself, didn't insure it and, you guessed it, it arrived busted. I do not want go through that again with my heavily modded home system)
UPS: How much do you want to insure it for?
Me (calculating replacement value to self. Server cost $1500, memory + mods $500 or so... ): About $2000
UPS [looks at chart]: hmmm... for that much, they will only ship 2-day air.
Me: Okay.
UPS: What about the Monitors?
Me (replacement cost: $800 each): $1000
UPS: ok..
Me (to self:shit, out loud): Each.
UPS: [takes second look at monitors]: Okay. Now this box of drives, how do you want to ship that?
Me: I want it all together. Wires too.
UPS: Okay. Do you want to bother insuraning the drives?
Me (6 300Gig drives X $400 each =):yes, $2500
UPS: You don't have gold wires or anything do you?
Me (thinking): Noooooo...... ... No.
UPS: Okay. verify this, this and this address.
Me: Okay (verifies). What's the total?
UPS (adding ... adding ... adding): Hold on, that can't be right. (throws away tape, starts over.)
Me (to self): uh-oh..
UPS: ... ... (looks at tape).. oooooooookay. That's $825.46
Me (agape, jaw swinging freely in the breeze)
UPS: Sir?
Me (mental calculation of replacement cost of system: Server+monitors+drives + content = $9000+ ... shit! How did that happen? ... This is less than 10% of the value of the system. ... shit.): Go for it.
UPS: Yes sir! Cash or card?
Me(handing over MSFT AMEX): card.
UPS (rings up): Here you go sir! It should be there Wednesday.
Me: For 800 bucks you ought to have a host of seraphim personally fly it to my office.
UPS (without missing a beat): Yes sir, but we can't get them to work Sundays. Union Rules.
Me (Oh, is THAT my place? I'd better go stand there): hahahahhahahahahahahahhaha touche!

And that's how UPS got $825.46 to move my modded server to Redmond and where I learned a Valuable Lesson in the wit and snarkiness of UPS countervolken.