Maybe It's a Good Thing the 70s are gone after all

Shatner vs. Borgnine!

Key scenes: Early in the film, Shatner challenges Borgnine to an epic faith-off in which Shatner prays to his god and Borgnine worships his satanic majesty. God totally gets served.


Plot: Back in old-timey days, Satanic minister Ernest Borgnine swears vengeance when the wife of his disciple William Shatner rats Borgnine out to the town holy man. Three centuries later, Shatner's descendents are bedeviled by a Borgnine-led cabal of Satan worshippers out to retrieve a book pledging various souls to Satan. Shatner travels to a spooky ghost town to confront Borgnine, but ends up among the hooded, chanting, pentagram-happy damned. Shatner's brother (Tom Skerritt), an ESP expert, investigates his brother's mysterious disappearance by going undercover as one of Satan's minions. He seemingly succeeds in smashing Borgnine's ring of satanic evil, but Borgnine gets the last laugh when he uses his dark powers to possess Skerritt's wife.

Actually, I remember this movie. It was during the whole series of "Omen" rip-offs.





also, somehow I missed this movie in my formative years:

Plot: Mother Goose (played by Hal Smith, a.k.a. Otis from The Andy Griffith Show) gets put on trial for obscenity. When she takes the stand, she says, "I guess I'd better start at the fucking beginning. Um, I mean, 'Once upon a time…'" Then she proceeds to tell the real stories of Jack and the beanstalk, Cinderella, and Little Red Riding Hood, in X-rated detail, aided by a group of Disney animators moonlighting from their day jobs.

Key scenes: The movie shoots most of its figurative load in the first segment, which has a breast-obsessed Jack trading his cow to a flasher in a trenchcoat for a sack of beans, which he later ejaculates on, causing an enormous phallic beanstalk to erupt out of the ground. He climbs the stalk to an erotic fairyland in the clouds, where plates of food have sex with each other while a magic harp plays. Inspired by the music, Jack attempts to get it on with the giant's wife, but when her husband comes home, he has to hide inside her vagina, and avoid the thrusting of the giant's penis. Um… trippy?

Otis played Mother Goose? Holy Dr. Girlfriend!