Meetings I Don't Get Invited to

So I was walking down the hall to get some lunch, glanced into a room where a meeting was gathering and had the following internal conversation:

hmmm thats a big meeting...
... wait! Is that woman showning her naked ass???
It is! ... are her jeans cut away just to show her ass? like that movie with Ryan O'Neal?
... ohhh it's a plastic ass
on the outside of her jeans...
...and it's covered with ... candy?? yes candy!

(door closes)

How come I never get to go to meetings like that?