Friday, April 27, 2007

Well Said on Masculinity

A version of the same advice I've given to my son on many occasions. It didn't occur to me at the time to view it through this lens, but it's quite apt.

The basic good code of a certain brand of masculinity, as opposed to macho, is that you don't pick fights, and that you never tolerate the strong bullying the weak. Bullying, in fact, is seen as a declaration of weakness - if you were strong, you wouldn't be picking fights with weaklings, now would you? And if you were confident, you wouldn't need to prove anything, would you? Certainly you don't back down from a fight - but you don't go looking for it either.

It also summarizes my early, instinctive opposition to war, i.e. we were picking a fight, not finishing one.

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