Presidential Candidate Pros and Cons

From McSweeney:

HILLARY CLINTON
Pro: Known commodity; strong fundraiser.
Con: Polarizing; unlikely to woo those already opposed to her.

JOE BIDEN
Pro: Technically still running for president.
Con: Dude. Come on.

DICK CHENEYIN AN ELABORATE LATEX DISGUISETHAT TAKES FIVE HOURS TO APPLY
Pro: Trojan horse, my friend. Trojan fucking horse.
Con: Ruse would be so exciting that he would surely drop dead of a massive stroke about a month before Iowa.

WALTER MONDALE
Pro: Has spent last 22 years going over tape, reviewing mistakes, plotting, scheming, waiting, watching, preparing to pounce like a 79-year-old Minnesotan panther.
Con: None.

SAM BROWNBACK
Pro: Serves as a positive role model for ethnic brownbacks all over the country.
Con: Such an ethnicity does not technically exist; lacks the pen-gripping power of Kansas Senate predecessor Bob Dole.

NEWT GINGRICH
Pro: Well known.
Con: See above.